The Truth About Buyer “Love Letters”

The Truth About Buyer “Love Letters” — and Why It’s Time to Rethink Them

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When competition heats up in the housing market — as it often does here in Snohomish County — buyers sometimes look for creative ways to stand out. One example has been the “buyer love letter” — a personal note written to the seller explaining why you love their home and why you’re the perfect buyer.

On the surface, it sounds harmless and heartfelt. After all, who doesn’t want to know their home will be loved and cared for?
But as the real estate industry has evolved, these letters have come under serious scrutiny. In fact, many brokerages — and even some states — now discourage or prohibit them entirely.

Here’s why, and what buyers should do instead.

What Is a Buyer Love Letter?

A “love letter” is a personal message from a buyer to a seller, often included with an offer. It usually highlights what the buyer loves about the home and may include personal details about their family, lifestyle, or background — things like:

• “We can picture our kids running down the hallway.”

• “This kitchen reminds me of my grandmother’s house.”

• “We’d love to raise our family in this neighborhood.”

While these statements are genuine, they also introduce personal information that can lead to fair housing risks.

The Fair Housing Concern

Under the Fair Housing Act, sellers and their agents are prohibited from making housing decisions based on protected characteristics such as:

• Race or color

• National origin

• Religion

• Sex, gender identity, or sexual orientation

• Familial status (having children or not)

• Disability

A love letter can unintentionally reveal this kind of information — through words, photos, or even subtle clues.

For example, if a buyer mentions their church, shows a family photo, or references their kids’ school, that could disclose information that influences a seller’s decision, even subconsciously. If that happens, both the buyer and seller could be exposed to potential fair housing violations.

What Industry Experts Recommend

National Association of Realtors (NAR), along with the Washington State Department of Licensing, advise against submitting or accepting buyer love letters.

The safest and most professional approach is to keep all offers focused on objective facts, such as:

• Price and financing terms

• Closing timeline

• Contingencies (inspection, financing, sale of home, etc.)

• Strength of pre-approval and earnest money

By keeping communication professional and data-driven, everyone stays protected — and the offer speaks for itself.

A Better Way to Stand Out

If you want to make your offer more appealing without using a love letter, here are some proven strategies that work in Snohomish County’s competitive market:

1. Get Fully Underwritten: A strong pre-approval (or pre-underwriting) shows sellers you’re financially ready to close.

2. Write Clean, Clear Offers: Fewer contingencies, flexible closing dates, and well-structured terms can give you an edge.

3. Work With an Experienced Agent: A good agent will communicate effectively with the listing side, highlight your strengths, and make your offer stand out ethically and professionally.

4. Offer Rent-Back or Flexible Closing: If the seller needs time to move, this can be more persuasive than a personal letter.

5. Be Prepared and Responsive: Quick, professional communication from your agent can set the tone and build seller confidence.

What Sellers Should Know

If you’re selling, it can be tempting to read letters that tug at your heartstrings — especially if you’ve lived in your home for years. But doing so could open you up to liability.

The best practice?
Politely instruct your agent to decline buyer letters and focus solely on the offer terms. It keeps the process clean, professional, and fair to everyone involved.

The Bottom Line

Real estate is emotional — buying and selling homes always will be. But as professionals, our job is to protect our clients from unnecessary risk while helping them achieve their goals.

If you’re buying in Snohomish County, skip the love letter and let your offer, preparation, and professionalism tell your story.
And if you’re selling, trust your agent to guide you through offers in a way that’s both ethical and advantageous.

Thinking about buying or selling a home in Snohomish County?
I’d love to guide you through the process safely, strategically, and successfully — without risking compliance or missing opportunities.

Let’s make your next move a confident one. 🏡